012710

I'm sitting in class thinking about how her voice doesn't suit her well. how she isn't sitting correctly, how she doesn't look the way she should. She's not who I had created her to be, born from that flash of creative energy in the side of my brain not devoted to calculations, whichever one that is. I can never keep them straight, the left or right, right or wrong.

Fucking Ray Bradbury syndrome, his characters manifest themselves and talk to him, recount to him their stories of their sci-fi adventures in the future or a past that never existed. The man was a lunatic, literary genius or not, and I like to maintain that I still create my own stories and characters, but there she is.

010610

To add to the things people do that annoy me - self-proclaimed "shopaholics." What the fuck is "shopahol." anyway? These women and overly self-conscious men make me sick, running up ridiculous debts and ruining their families' lives with no restraint. The American dream, to own everything you can see, everything you can get your greasy fast-food hands around. And like I'm so special, so holier than thou, so punk rock to say these words and feel this way. Baby, I'm an anarchist, and my anarchy comes in the form of saving instead of spending, debit instead of credit. I am part of the anti-American dream counterculture, those of us who don't give a goddamn about designer labels and how many paychecks you dropped on a wad of fabric or metal. We shop thrift, we shop thrifty and even then it's usually out of necessity and not some perverted I-gotta-have-it syndrome. Yes, I spend occasionally and yes, I own things I don't need to survive, but you and I don't share your blatant disregard for other people, for maintaining your dignity over your Hollywood-propagated image that makes you so special just like so many millions others of you. You and I will never be the same because I refuse to lower myself to the level of your corporate media-driven mold. I can respect myself without your material bullshit because I don't have shit to prove to anyone.