102311

On days like this you need to put on a jacket, put on another jacket, put on music you've never listened to before, and take a walk. Take a good long walk. One where you walk til you don't want to hate your life anymore and then turn around and walk back home.
Make side trips. Go past a friend's old house. Go to the grocery store. Go through the cemetery.
A cemetery is just a park.
Go to the grave of Mildred McCome who died 86yrs ago, age 16, and now her headstone lies flat on top of a concrete base staring up at you with letters so worn you can't be sure her name is even really McCome.
I thought it was the children's section of the cemetery but right in the middle are buried people who lived full lives and it looks so wrong next to the tiny markers with dates spanning less than a decade, a year, a week. Baby Daniels. Infant Roberts. All of them engraved with lambs.
I don't know what it means to be "asleep in jesus."
If I ever got a headstone, I want it to have a secret compartment. I want it to have a quote worth thinking about, like something from margaret Atwood or Joey Comeau. I don't even think I need my name on it. If I had visitors, I hope they'd known me well enough to know it's my heavy body down there.
But I don't really want a tombstone. I want a tree planted over my body so it can feed off of it and grow and make new life and bring beauty to a place most people find cold and dead. I want to tell my friends to make me executor of their estates in their wills if they want to be memorialized with a tree, because that's what I would do for every single one of them and we'd all be big strong gorgeous trees somewhere laughing in the wind about who got peed on by some man's dog in the dead people park.

I don't want to live forever and I'm glad I won't.

051711

"The function of the muscle is to pull and not push, except in the case of the genitals and the tongue." - Leonardo di Vinci.

Someone told me that they felt weird last week and couldn't figure out what was wrong until she realized she was feeling happy.
Ohio, why do you pull this shit? It's mid-May already and it's forty degrees and raining and people are forgetting how it feels to be happy. Spring equinox was March 21, you asshole - where's our spring? Where's our flowers?
We need sunshine and flowered dresses and jorts and scraped knees and mango drinks and Icky walks and front lawn picnics and late-night swingsets and marshmallow campfires and strawberry kisses and cave explorations and 9pm sunsets with a best friend and songs written in the form of vignettes
In the past two months I could count the sunny days on one hand. Spring is gone and a STOOPID humid summer is coming where you can't leave the AC or the Olengrungy for more than a few hours (check yr priv!)

I'll wait until it's dark outside.

Spent a wet and freezing winter waiting for March April May. Bring them back, Ohio, before the dog days of panting in the shade, sweating off your sunblock, scratching itchy grassy calves, trying to beat the heat

051711

Cat Lady brainstorming

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grilled cheese, nose rings, deep v's, nautical things
pocket skirts, torn-up mocs, WuTang shirts, mismatched socks (just for moira!)
baby Scout, Skins UK, Walkabout, Larry Gay

i wanna be a wolf
i wanna be a wolf
i wanna be a wolf
oi oi oi

honeycrisp mapples, drunk quesadillas
damn love mapples, dri-zunk quesadillas

Savn Bhandaris, Anya McPhersons,
losing my virginity in a limosiiiiiiiine

Man on Fire, Man on Fire
why won't you play Man on Fire
don't worry, we'll play Man on Fire
(it'll be presidential;
never get tired
never expire)

Things I need:
good deep v
good nose ring
good grilled cheese
good nautical thing

shit piss fuck cunt cocksucker
just kidding! this is our song
about nutbutts

bby Scout was a bby nutbutt with nuts on his butt
and cruelty in his heart
his youth betrayed him and he was vicious
and relentless in his pursuit
but now he is older, like 2 whole months
older, and doesn't have nuts on his
nutbutt no more
he is sweet and cuddly and my best friend
but he still makes Moira sneeze
ASSHOLE